Have you tried…..

Nothing annoys me more than the have you tried question! Have you tried yoga? Have you tried healing stones? Have you tried a change in diet? Well no random person i have not tried anything, in fact i rather enjoy sitting around in pain all day every day! Its so enjoyable that i let it destroy my career and my mental health because hey why bother trying! Its always the same people that come up with miracle cures. They think they know what your going through without taking a week to read your medical history (yes it takes that long) and cant even pronounce what is apparently wrong with you!! But hey random citizen an army of specialists cant figure out what to do with me but im sure you know a quick fix? Where did you get your doctorate again?

Seriously though these are the least helpful people i can ever come across! More so than the you cant people (more on them later). Im going about my day, struggling on, trying not to let my pain effect me. Trying to make sure my pain levels dont mean i get to see my breakfast cookies again (yes i know cookies for breakfast not healthy blah blah blah my body is already fudged a few cookies for breakfast isnt going to make a difference). And up comes the noble samaritan offering a stretching exercise that has cured everyone she knows. A certain stretch i regually preform but has so far produced no miracles! But that doesnt stop the rant infact it moves on to being told its all in my head! Oh yes excuse me im imagining the lack of sleep, the struggle to tie my own laces up and the constant pain! Then upon saying i didnt want to talk about it and walking away (i was on the verge of crying) i was the told i was being to sensitive! Excuse me! There i was minding my own business attempting to go about my day (all be it unsuccessfully) when you approached me with your jesus theory! So you can take my sensitivity and shove it where the sun doesnt shine!!

As for the “you cant do that” people….well im perfectly aware of what i can and cannot do! Im aware ive already lost one career to this pain and im not about to loose another one! I am awear that what im doing right this second is probably not good for my back….but it is good for my mental health! Because im not done until i say im done! Im not beaten until i say im beaten! And im not quitting until i say i quit! I know people are just looking out for me but just stop! Im awear of my own limitations and unless i cant walk i will work! Fact! This pain has taken enough from me so i now own it! Were done when i say we are done! Until then we slug on!

I know people only offer suggestions and help because they mean well. I ignore my pain as best i can and i just want others to do the same! It makes it a million times harder to cope when others bring it up! If i want to go cry in the corner for 5 mins and then pull myself back together just leave me to it! Dont suggest some miracle cure that ive probably already tried and that’s clearly not worked for me!

I havent written for a while because i thought i was coping…..clearly i was wrong!!!

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